For kiddos with autism spectrum disorder, meltdowns aren't just temper tantrums. We put an article on our blog a little while ago called "Meltdowns, explained" to help you understand the ins and outs of meltdowns.
Meltdowns differ from temper tantrums, because, as we stated in a previous article,
Temper tantrums for neurotypical kids are often remedied by an adult helping the child develop coping mechanisms or communication skills to convey their frustrations, and likely subside when an adult is not giving the child the attention that the child wants. Meltdowns, on the other hand, are a response to overstimulation (in many of its forms) and are not an exhibited behavior, but rather a response to sensory input.
Kids who are having meltdowns are a lot more difficult to console than children having a temper tantrum. Children who are having a meltdown are oftentimes suffering from an overwhelming amount of sensory stimulation, and they aren't equipped with the self-soothing skills and words necessary to help them.
Before anything, remember this
One of the toughest parts of being a parent can be the discord and disapproval from other parents that regard your parenting style. Parenting is tough because it is a very personal series of decisions made to benefit your kids and their situation the best that you possibly can.
There is no one right way to raise a child, but for whatever reason, judgment permeates the culture of parenting. It can be really tough if you have an autistic child who has a public meltdown. Not only do you have to face the difficulty of calming your kiddo down, but you may also have to navigate the judgment, input, and advice from other parents.
You are the parent of your child. No one knows your child better than you do. When your kiddo has a meltdown in public, just remember that they are your biggest and only concern.
Be prepared
Meltdowns are often accompanied by warning signs. Before your kiddo ever has a meltdown, keep a calendar or journal of what they did, ate, how much they slept, or behaviors that they exhibited on any given day. This is a pretty easy way to track the ways that their environments trigger their behaviors and allows you to plan ahead for any potential triggers.
If you can identify the issues in your kiddo's environment that is causing them sensory overload, can spot some of their anxious behaviors, or are able to see many of the triggers that they might exhibit so you can help them calm down. However, sometimes meltdowns are inevitable. But spotting the warning signs beforehand might make it a bit easier to prepare and deescalate.
Bring some help
Try a sensory kit to help them in public. For a lot of kids, meltdowns can be made a bit shorter with some controlled sensory feedback and stimming toys. If you want to check out some sensory survival kits, just click here.
Leave the situation if you need to
If you are at the grocery store and your child is having a meltdown, it's okay to leave. A lot of grocery stores (even Amazon) do delivery, so if your child's needs outweigh your need for groceries, do what you need to do and have them delivered. Getting your kiddo out of the situation or place where they had a meltdown can help them decompress, calm down, and gather themselves.
Your child is a top priority
Regardless of the insensitive things that strangers may say, just remember that your child's wellbeing and safety are at the forefront of your job as a parent. The imposition of opinions from onlookers is not your worries. Do what is necessary for your child to thrive in their environment, and don't pay attention to the other people.
